December 2011
2 posts
5 tags
Labeling
I dislike labels. I am a trained Sociologist by trade and labels for me create distinct boxes or categories. When I get labelled, I feel like I my movements are constricted, that I don’t have options. The most common labels I have right now are woman, white, alcoholic. These binary categories make it easy for other’s to file us away in their memory, but in the long run, they can be...
4 tags
Last Day of Work
I didn’t know where to go next.
I literally was unable to do things that “normies” did. I was becoming increasingly anxious, having on average two panic attacks a day. I was not living, I was barely surviving.
On my last day of work (unbeknownst to me), I was so shaky with the drinks from the previous night, my anxiety, and my mixture of a morning cocktail and a Klonopin,...
November 2011
1 post
3 tags
The Phone Call
I didn’t sleep anymore. I was in state of constantly having to drink to maintain the shakes. It was scary having to always know that you had to have alcohol around to be able to ward off the demon of your own mind and the demon of withdrawal. My mind did not work properly. Gaps of time were becoming a constant. I would try to remember what I had done the day before, but I was forgetting...